Dejah Thoris and the White Apes of Mars by Rahner and Antonio

Going through the histories, Dejah Thoris realizes that she doesn’t have enough information to teach her son about an ancient battle that took place at what we call the Face on Mars. So she decides to take an archaeological field trip to find out more information. Along the way she almost gets eaten by huge four armed White Apes.

Dejah Thoris and the White Apes of Mars
Mark Rahner and Lui Antonio
Dynamite Entertainment
December 2012

The setup is so lame that you have to wonder why those at Dynamite Entertainment didn’t simply put together a pinup / porn magazine and quit pretending that they are writing a graphic “novel”. Story? Nope. So what happened? The ship has to land. Everyone gets out. Who is everyone? The princess, a bunch of rich, naked girls and serving girls and some soldiers (who, of course, wear more clothing than the women.) They happened to land right next to an abandoned complex (in the middle of nowhere). When they get inside, it takes just a few minutes to set up some chairs and make some beverages for the Princess so that they can be served when the attack happens.

The huge White Apes attack and start eating the soldiers while the women run away (showing off their pink naked butts or ridiculously huge pink bosoms, with only a little gold nipple sized covering.) Naked girls run away, jiggling. Apes catch and eat them. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

The ending, which is supposed to lead us to some deeper conspiracy merely comes off as paying the pizza man at the end of the proverbial porno: an empty attempt to say this was a story all along. Total crap.

The kicker to this horrendously told “story” is that the art is also terrible. About as amateurish as you’d expect out of a teenager. The women shouldn’t even be able to stand up they are so top heavy. The people all look alike. The coloring is terrible as the people come out pinkish in most scenes.

Overall this is a terrible graphic novel and is exactly what is wrong with the comic book industry as a whole. Good stories with good art sell and they don’t make buyers feel ripped off and they don’t get Congressmen up in arms. (Or Edgar Rice Burroughs rolling over in his grave.)

For much, much better graphic novels try some of the DC Comics New 52 trade paperbacks or almost anything from Archaia.

Scott Asher is the Editor-in-Chief of His personal blog is AshertopiA – a land flowing with milk and honey… and a lot of sticky people where he turns real life into stupid cartoons, writes on Christianity, Zombies, and whatever else he wants and posts Bible studies from his classes at church.

This book was provided by the publisher as a review copy.